Name's Danny. Just Danny. I live in Beacon Hills, I like lacrosse, and recently all my friends are acting a little strange.


*This is an RP blog devoted to Danny from Teen Wolf*

 

-He doesn’t go back home until it’s late.  When he walks into his bedroom he sucks in a gasp of air, feeling for all the world like someone has socked him in the gut.

He knew Jesse would be gone.  Had wanted him gone.  But he hadn’t been prepared for a room stripped bare of every sign of Jesse.  Everything that had made it theirs.  It looks strange, foreign.  And as much as Danny knows it had to happen, he can’t breathe.

He turns around and slowly walks down the hall to Jesse’s room.  Only of course it’s not Jesse’s room anymore.  Just a spare room now.  Even emptier than his room.  Bed neatly made and pillows fluffed and even the floor vacuumed clean as if no one had ever nominally used this space.

He sits down on the bed and tries to draw breath, and he catches sight of a slip of paper just sticking out underneath the bedskirt.  He leans down and retrieves it, and stares at the ticket stub, from a concert Jesse had taken them to in Belfast.

He’ll get through this, just like he did with Stiles, and he doesn’t doubt he did the right thing, but this hurts so, so much worse.  Every minute of his life for the last year and a half has been bound up in Jesse, usually in life or death situations, but sometimes just in quiet ones; reading or sitting on the beach ,or whispering back and forth about all the different ways they imagine Mr. Argent and Peter getting freaky.

He’s lost an arm, or a leg, and he doesn’t know how to make the phantom pain go away.

There’s a noise at the door and he whips around, thinking Jesse’s forgotten something, come back to retrieve it.  Come back to argue against Danny’s choice at least once.  Like he believes Danny is actually worth fighting for.

But it’s not Jesse, but his Dad standing in the doorway, staring at him in quiet concern.  Danny doesn’t know if the feeling that washes over him is relief or disappointment.

Are you okay?  

Danny nods.  Then stops.  Then shakes his head-

No.  No I’m really not.

-His dad reaches him in two quick strides and sits next to him.  He doesn’t tell Danny it will be okay, which Danny really appreciates.  He doesn’t actually say anything at all.  He just wraps his arms around him and lets Danny bury his head in his shoulder and cry.-

hackerdanny asked
[text] I'm at the lacrosse field if you still need to talk.

spawnofperdition:

hackerdanny:

spawnofperdition:

hackerdanny:

spawnofperdition:

-Jesse is picking dandelions with Chris and Peter’s new kid. He’s not exactly sure how it happened but she seems to think he’s some authority on the subject, holding up each new one for him to name. Jesse started giving them random names ten minutes ago.

Dat one?-

That’s a Kekoa, sweetie.

-Her parents, and for all that Chris is Allison’s dad it’s weird to think of them as parents, come back outside then and Jesse’s all but forgotten in favor of Peter and food. Jesse’s just looking for a new distraction from not thinking about Danny when his phone vibrates in his pocket.His heart stops when he sees it’s actually from Danny.

 Jesse takes off for the house. He almost trips on something right through the door and he curses before righting himself and teleporting to the school as soon as he’s out of sight of the bar newbies.

Jesse walks to the lacrosse field in case Danny’s still got the mezuzah. That headache was not one he wants to relive. But true to his word Danny’s sitting on the bleachers when Jesse arrives on his own two feet with no problem. Of course he did. It’s Danny.

His boyfriend looks like shit. If Jesse can still call him that.

You wanted to talk. So, talk.

If there was sand under his feet, this would feel like Hawaii all over again. Jesse stands, a few feet between them, with his hands in his pockets.-

I should have told you. Right after it happened. I’m sorry I didn’t.

Yeah, you should have.  But you didn’t.

-Jesse shifts from foot to foot, looking so goddamn hopeful.  But Danny just doesn’t have anything left to give-

All that crap you accused me of.  Maybe that was just you projecting. -he shrugs, looking out at the lacrosse field and the sport he’s always loved but gave up because Jesse had been more important-  But whatever.  It doesn’t matter anymore. 

Um, look.  I don’t expect you to move out of the house or anything.  It’s your home, too and I’m pretty sure my parents have unofficially adopted you.  Your room could probably do with some actual use, anyway. -Danny tries to smile at his own pitiful joke, but he doesn’t think he pulls it off.  He’d thought a lot about the whole living situation, even talked to his mom about it, and while a part of him would really like to be an asshole, he knows Jesse depends a lot on that stability for recovery.  So he can deal.  Of course, whether Jesse chooses to stay or not is up to him.-

Besides, I’m starting college applications, so I’ll probably be out before too much longer anyway. -that was another thing he’d put off.  College.  Because he’d wanted to wait until Jesse had passed at least one year sober.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  But there were a few colleges that had really wanted him, so he thinks he can call and beg and maybe still get late admission for fall-

image

So that’s it, then, huh? Just like that?

-Danny’s nod is resolute. But he looks away when he confirms Just like that. Maybe the lights are fooling him, but he thinks there may be tears in Danny’s eyes and that makes everything worse.-

I guess I don’t blame you. After all the shit I’ve dragged you through. No, I don’t blame you at all.

-Danny’s face turns angry and Jesse can already hear what he’s going to say.-

I know. Everything else was worth it because it was for us. It doesn’t mean you haven’t been through a lot of pain because you chose me. I always hated that you had to suffer just to be with me.

I don’t love him. If that makes any difference. Maybe I was projecting with Stiles, maybe I wasn’t. I don’t know. But you’re the only person I’ve ever loved.

-Jesse crosses the space between them, cups the back of Danny’s head, and kisses his forehead. The scent of his favorite cologne wafts in Jesse’s nose and tears spring to his eyes. Blinking them away, he clears his throat and steps back.-

I’ll have my stuff out by tomorrow night. I don’t want to make things awkward for you or your parents. -He shrugs.- I’ll see your mom down at the Center anyway.

-Like somehow that was supposed to make things better-  Go, stay, whatever.  I already told you it wouldn’t be awkward, but that’s up to you.  

-He steps further back, away from Jesse and from the stupid fucking tears in his eyes.  Of course Jesse is sorry.  He’s always so, so sorry-

Go ahead and stay there tonight at least.  I’m staying over at Nathan’s again, anyway, and mom’s expecting you for dinner.

-His hands are starting to clench into fists and he forces them to relax-  You know, maybe you don’t love him or whatever.  Maybe it was just like that guy at The Sevens and every other hook up you’d had.  He was just there, so why not?  I don’t know.  But I’ve loved both of you, and both of you screwed me over.  You fucking deserve each other.

-He really thought he’d gotten over the bitter anger part today.  He’d been wrong.  He supposes it’s not every day you lose your best friend and your boyfriend all in one fell swoop.  It’s not even really the kiss—-no, no, it really, really is.  But it’s also the lie.  Always with the goddamn lying.  He is so, so done with the lying and the hiding-

-Danny bringing up the guy from The Sevens completely throws Jesse off. He’s not expecting it and honestly he’d completely forgotten the guy existed. Just another thing he’s fucked up with Danny since they met.-

It wasn’t like that. God, I don’t know what it was other than a huge mistake but it wasn’t that. I don’t just go fucking around on you, okay? I never did anything like that. I never wanted to. If I had, I would have told you.

-Danny scoffs.-

I would have. I didn’t with this because it freaked me out, okay? It freaked me out that I even thought about it and it was never gonna happen again. Cameron agreed with me so I thought I’d just sort it out with her and be done with it. She was never the one I should have gone to.

-It should have always been Danny. Guess it just shows that even if Jesse tries to tell himself nothing actually happened to feel guilty for, he knew how wrong it was all along.

The fact that the house Jesse couldn’t get to Danny at last night was Nathan’s is a pretty just punishment for how it makes Jesse feel. But he doesn’t really have any leg to stand on with how he feels anymore so he doesn’t say anything.-

Listen. Just…if you ever need anything, if you’re ever in trouble, I’m a phone call away. Or Meg. She’d never say it but she’d do anything for you.

Yeah, of course.  Thanks. -He doesn’t tell Jesse he’d texted back and forth with Meg for several hours today-  And you know the same goes for you, too. -One side of his mouth curls up in a small grin- I’ve busted my ass to hard keeping you alive to have you go off and get hurt now.

-The anger has drifted away again, just leaving a bone deep sadness in its place.  And he needs to leave so he can break down in private.  He jabs his thumb over his shoulder at the parking lot-

I’m gonna head.  I’ll, uh, I’ll see you later, okay?  Probably around the Center.

hackerdanny asked
[text] I'm at the lacrosse field if you still need to talk.

spawnofperdition:

hackerdanny:

spawnofperdition:

-Jesse is picking dandelions with Chris and Peter’s new kid. He’s not exactly sure how it happened but she seems to think he’s some authority on the subject, holding up each new one for him to name. Jesse started giving them random names ten minutes ago.

Dat one?-

That’s a Kekoa, sweetie.

-Her parents, and for all that Chris is Allison’s dad it’s weird to think of them as parents, come back outside then and Jesse’s all but forgotten in favor of Peter and food. Jesse’s just looking for a new distraction from not thinking about Danny when his phone vibrates in his pocket.His heart stops when he sees it’s actually from Danny.

 Jesse takes off for the house. He almost trips on something right through the door and he curses before righting himself and teleporting to the school as soon as he’s out of sight of the bar newbies.

Jesse walks to the lacrosse field in case Danny’s still got the mezuzah. That headache was not one he wants to relive. But true to his word Danny’s sitting on the bleachers when Jesse arrives on his own two feet with no problem. Of course he did. It’s Danny.

His boyfriend looks like shit. If Jesse can still call him that.

You wanted to talk. So, talk.

If there was sand under his feet, this would feel like Hawaii all over again. Jesse stands, a few feet between them, with his hands in his pockets.-

I should have told you. Right after it happened. I’m sorry I didn’t.

Yeah, you should have.  But you didn’t.

-Jesse shifts from foot to foot, looking so goddamn hopeful.  But Danny just doesn’t have anything left to give-

All that crap you accused me of.  Maybe that was just you projecting. -he shrugs, looking out at the lacrosse field and the sport he’s always loved but gave up because Jesse had been more important-  But whatever.  It doesn’t matter anymore. 

Um, look.  I don’t expect you to move out of the house or anything.  It’s your home, too and I’m pretty sure my parents have unofficially adopted you.  Your room could probably do with some actual use, anyway. -Danny tries to smile at his own pitiful joke, but he doesn’t think he pulls it off.  He’d thought a lot about the whole living situation, even talked to his mom about it, and while a part of him would really like to be an asshole, he knows Jesse depends a lot on that stability for recovery.  So he can deal.  Of course, whether Jesse chooses to stay or not is up to him.-

Besides, I’m starting college applications, so I’ll probably be out before too much longer anyway. -that was another thing he’d put off.  College.  Because he’d wanted to wait until Jesse had passed at least one year sober.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  But there were a few colleges that had really wanted him, so he thinks he can call and beg and maybe still get late admission for fall-

image

So that’s it, then, huh? Just like that?

-Danny’s nod is resolute. But he looks away when he confirms Just like that. Maybe the lights are fooling him, but he thinks there may be tears in Danny’s eyes and that makes everything worse.-

I guess I don’t blame you. After all the shit I’ve dragged you through. No, I don’t blame you at all.

-Danny’s face turns angry and Jesse can already hear what he’s going to say.-

I know. Everything else was worth it because it was for us. It doesn’t mean you haven’t been through a lot of pain because you chose me. I always hated that you had to suffer just to be with me.

I don’t love him. If that makes any difference. Maybe I was projecting with Stiles, maybe I wasn’t. I don’t know. But you’re the only person I’ve ever loved.

-Jesse crosses the space between them, cups the back of Danny’s head, and kisses his forehead. The scent of his favorite cologne wafts in Jesse’s nose and tears spring to his eyes. Blinking them away, he clears his throat and steps back.-

I’ll have my stuff out by tomorrow night. I don’t want to make things awkward for you or your parents. -He shrugs.- I’ll see your mom down at the Center anyway.

-Like somehow that was supposed to make things better-  Go, stay, whatever.  I already told you it wouldn’t be awkward, but that’s up to you.  

-He steps further back, away from Jesse and from the stupid fucking tears in his eyes.  Of course Jesse is sorry.  He’s always so, so sorry-

Go ahead and stay there tonight at least.  I’m staying over at Nathan’s again, anyway, and mom’s expecting you for dinner.

-His hands are starting to clench into fists and he forces them to relax-  You know, maybe you don’t love him or whatever.  Maybe it was just like that guy at The Sevens and every other hook up you’d had.  He was just there, so why not?  I don’t know.  But I’ve loved both of you, and both of you screwed me over.  You fucking deserve each other.

-He really thought he’d gotten over the bitter anger part today.  He’d been wrong.  He supposes it’s not every day you lose your best friend and your boyfriend all in one fell swoop.  It’s not even really the kiss—-no, no, it really, really is.  But it’s also the lie.  Always with the goddamn lying.  He is so, so done with the lying and the hiding-

hackerdanny asked
[text] I'm at the lacrosse field if you still need to talk.

spawnofperdition:

-Jesse is picking dandelions with Chris and Peter’s new kid. He’s not exactly sure how it happened but she seems to think he’s some authority on the subject, holding up each new one for him to name. Jesse started giving them random names ten minutes ago.

Dat one?-

That’s a Kekoa, sweetie.

-Her parents, and for all that Chris is Allison’s dad it’s weird to think of them as parents, come back outside then and Jesse’s all but forgotten in favor of Peter and food. Jesse’s just looking for a new distraction from not thinking about Danny when his phone vibrates in his pocket.His heart stops when he sees it’s actually from Danny.

 Jesse takes off for the house. He almost trips on something right through the door and he curses before righting himself and teleporting to the school as soon as he’s out of sight of the bar newbies.

Jesse walks to the lacrosse field in case Danny’s still got the mezuzah. That headache was not one he wants to relive. But true to his word Danny’s sitting on the bleachers when Jesse arrives on his own two feet with no problem. Of course he did. It’s Danny.

His boyfriend looks like shit. If Jesse can still call him that.

You wanted to talk. So, talk.

If there was sand under his feet, this would feel like Hawaii all over again. Jesse stands, a few feet between them, with his hands in his pockets.-

I should have told you. Right after it happened. I’m sorry I didn’t.

Yeah, you should have.  But you didn’t.

-Jesse shifts from foot to foot, looking so goddamn hopeful.  But Danny just doesn’t have anything left to give-

All that crap you accused me of.  Maybe that was just you projecting. -he shrugs, looking out at the lacrosse field and the sport he’s always loved but gave up because Jesse had been more important-  But whatever.  It doesn’t matter anymore. 

Um, look.  I don’t expect you to move out of the house or anything.  It’s your home, too and I’m pretty sure my parents have unofficially adopted you.  Your room could probably do with some actual use, anyway. -Danny tries to smile at his own pitiful joke, but he doesn’t think he pulls it off.  He’d thought a lot about the whole living situation, even talked to his mom about it, and while a part of him would really like to be an asshole, he knows Jesse depends a lot on that stability for recovery.  So he can deal.  Of course, whether Jesse chooses to stay or not is up to him.-

Besides, I’m starting college applications, so I’ll probably be out before too much longer anyway. -that was another thing he’d put off.  College.  Because he’d wanted to wait until Jesse had passed at least one year sober.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  But there were a few colleges that had really wanted him, so he thinks he can call and beg and maybe still get late admission for fall-

-Danny wakes up with a hangover and cottonmouth.  It’s almost nostalgic.  A reminder of a time when the only thing he was expected to be was a stupid teenager.  Not an anchor, not a protector, not an occasional killer.  Just a teenager whose biggest worry was whether or not his team would win at lacrosse.  Right now he really misses those days.

He rolls to a sitting position and grimaces, leaning forward to rest his hands in his palms.  He’s not sure what time he’d actually passed out on the couch, but it can’t be too terribly long ago, because a part of him suspects he’s still just a little bit buzzed.  He knows it was long after the party was over, when almost everyone had left and Nathan had taken one look at him and told him he’d better crash on the couch.

He hears quiet murmurs to the side and parts his fingers just enough so he can peek out between the spaces but still be protected from the cruel midday sun.  There’s tangle of limbs slowly unwinding from a pile of bean bags over in the corner.  They belong to Nathan, and his boyfriend, David, and…some other guy Danny doesn’t remember seeing last night?  Who seems awfully hands on with the other two.  

As he watches, David reaches out to affectionately ruffle Nathan’s hair, who groans and swats him away, barely opening bloodshot eyes.  

I’m gonna die.  Nathan’s voice sounds just as hungover as Danny feels.

Random dude snorts and shakes his head before standing. No dying today.  Come on, I’ll make breakfast.  He grabs one of Nathan’s hands and one of David’s hands and hauls them to their feet.  They both stumble a little and he steadies them with hands on their shoulders before turning his face first into David’s neck and then into Nathan’s.

Come on, drunkards.  They trail obediently behind him as he heads toward the kitchen, leaving Danny alone and a bit bemused at what he’d just seen.  He supposes if everyone’s happy with it, it isn’t his place to judge.

He finally takes his phone out for the first time in hours.  There’s still the voicemail from Jesse to deal with and after a long moment of hesitation he listens to it.  And then deletes it.  He’s not dealing with Jesse until after he’s eaten and showered.  Which means he’ll have to hope Nathan takes pity on him and lets him use his bathroom and a change of clothes, because he doesn’t want to risk running into Jesse at the house before he’s cleaned up-

athornybeauty asked
She waits until Jesse has gone to the bedroom before whipping her phone out and texting Danny. [text]: Jesse just showed up at my door. What the hell happened?

He’s six shots in when he gets Meg’s text, and after glaring at the screen for a good minute he sends a terse message back, refusing to feel guilty that Jesse had somehow decided he couldn’t sleep at the house.

{text}  Tell Jesse to go fuck himself.

Then he turns his phone to silent and takes the beer Nathan holds out for him.

howidefinethings:

 

-He expected this. Because Danny likes facts. He needs them as much as Stiles does. It doesn’t stop the knot in Stiles stomach to rise up into his throat.-

We were outside, talking. Well, I was outside and then Jesse came busting out the doors. And I started verbal diarrhea-ing about my dad and getting into Berkeley. Jesse offered to take me back and forth and, god. That was such a relief. I’ve been freaking out about that, ya know? 

-Danny’s face looks like he may vomit.-

Aaaand that is totally not the point. I hugged him. And when I let go I just…didn’t back up. It was intense and sudden and when I realized what we were doing, I backed the fuck up. 

-What we were doing.  What we were doing.  That’s the thing.  That’s what he needed to know.  That’s the thing that causes the ice in his chest to coalesce on the head of a pin and then shatter into a thousand daggers, each point an accusation Jesse had hurled at him in that basement, each point a hurtful, hateful thing Jesse had snarled at him and Danny had just taken.  Each shard made up of every time Danny had done every goddamn thing he could humanly do to protect and care for Jesse, to let him know that here, in Danny’s life, Jesse was safe and loved and secure.  Every damn thing he had bottled up and pushed away and ignored because Jesse needed him-

And this…this was where it had gotten him.  Of course.

Stiles is staring at him, wide eyed and unblinking, throat bobbing with each swallow-

You know… -Danny says slowly, reaching for his wallet and throwing a few dollars on the table for a tip-  I always thought that Jesse, and you, were two of the best things that had ever happened to me, no matter how you and I ended.  Christ. -he shakes his head- I was so fucking wrong, wasn’t I?

-He walks out without hearing what Stiles might have to say, how he’ll try to fix things.  Danny’s not interested in fixing things anymore.  What he’s interested in is getting in his car and driving out to his parents’ storage shed before Jesse can find him.  He makes it, opens the roller door, and digs around until he finds the very first Christmas present Jesse had ever given him.  Now, Jesse may be able to know where he is…there’s nothing Danny can ever do about that…but he can’t actually go anywhere near him.  The Mezuzah will take care of that.

God, he’d been such an idiot.  Such a stupid, idiotic child.  That very first time, when he’d walked into The Sevens and seen Jesse fucking some random guy over the counter, he should have known.  And when he’d turned around and walked away, he should never have stopped walking.  Should never have taken the Mezuzah down and welcomed Jesse back into his room and into his life.  

What was that they said about old habits dying hard?  

He just never really thought it would have been Stiles that had helped it along.

He’s going to get totally, completely, and blindingly drunk, something he hasn’t done in ages because he didn’t want to make things hard for Jesse.  Guess he doesn’t have to worry about that anymore.

The problem is, of course, where to go.  Jackson and Lydia are out of state, celebrating their escape from high school, and The Sevens is too full of familiar faces for him right now.  But there is one place he knows where a party is assured, and the liquor will flow free.

He gets back in his car and makes a call.  It’s answered on the second ring.

Danny?  He can hear music and people in the background, just like he’d known he would-

Hey, Nathan.  Can I crash your party?

-Yeah, sure.  You and Jesse can…

Danny cuts him off-

Just me.  It’ll just be me.

-Yeah.  Okay.  Nathan’s voice is cautious and concerned.  Is everything okay?  Are you okay?

Danny snorts.-

I’m fine.  Don’t worry about it.  I’ll be there in ten.

-He hangs up and sends a text to him mom.  Lets her know he won’t be home tonight-

howidefinethings:

-They’re meeting at the ice cream place they used to go to all the time when they were dating, Just Chillin’. The place worked by the pound. As in, you picked your ice cream flavor(s) and added as many toppings as you wanted and then they calculated the total weight of your shame. Stiles’ had come at right under a pound so he ran back and added some hot reds and another cherry until it hit right at the marker. 

Danny comes in while Stiles is still deciding whether it would be rude or not to start without him. He takes this as the ice cream gods bestowing their blessing. Stiles’ decides shoveling it in is the best option. Because when Danny sits down at the table, the nausea nerves will kick in and he’ll end up just playing with the mushy glop of remains. 

Despite Stiles’ asking Danny to meet him here during Jesse’s next session with his sponsor, Danny smiles when he sits across from Stiles. Said smile turns mischievous when he looks down at Stiles’ mouth, where a cherry stem is half hanging out while he chews on the other end. 

You remember when we used to have knot tying competitions?-

I remember winning every time. 

-Danny’s dimples deepen. Hey, I won that one time!-

Yeah, I framed it. Your one glorious victory.

-Laughing, Danny digs into his ice cream. Yeah, well, you always did have a talented mouth. 

Stiles’ leg starts to bounce uncontrollably under the table. It may have been an innuendo to end all innuendos but Danny doesn’t mean anything by it. Because Danny doesn’t cheat. He doesn’t even think about cheating. And they’re finally in a place where they’re both comfortable acknowledging their history together. 

Or at least they were.-

Yeah. It also has this really bad habit of getting me in trouble.

-For the first time Danny’s face looks serious. But concerned for Stiles and whatever mess he got himself into. Not worried it has anything to do with him. Here comes the nausea. His heart beating out of his chest doesn’t help the need to expel all the ice cream he just inhaled either.-

Danny…at…we, being me and Jesse, we were talking about college and stuff, my dad…

-Danny interrupts with a How’s he doing?-

Let me just get this out, okay? I mean, he’s fine. He’s a werewolf but he’s fine. I guess. Whatever, I didn’t come to talk about dad. Just…Danny, I almost kissed Jesse at prom. 

I am so so fucking sorry. I was drunk and that’s the lamest excuse and not an excuse, I know. I should have told you way earlier. 

-He blinks, his brain not quite computing exactly what Stiles is trying to say.  Prom was a week ago.  A whole week.  Jesse hasn’t said anything or remotely acted off, so maybe he’s missing something.  But something hard and cold is spreading across his chest when he asks carefully-

What do you mean you almost kissed Jesse?  Like, you thought about it but didn’t actually do anything?  Did Jesse have any clue?  What…what exactly happened?

-The cold has reached his throat now, causing his speech to seize, so he just stops and waits-

spawnofperdition:

hackerdanny:

-He squeezes his eyes shut and turns his face into into Jesse’s palm-  I don’t know.  I don’t know what I need.  I just know it hurts.  Every time I think about it, it hurts.  And I don’t know how to fix it.  Especially when I feel like I have to walk on eggshells to keep it from happening again.  

Everybody…you, Stiles, Jackson…all of you expect me to be this…this perfect thing that all of you can depend on.  And I like it.  I do.  I like being someone you can depend on, Jesse.  I like being the calm in all the shit that goes on here.  I can’t do any magic tricks like the rest of you, or grow fangs or get black eyes, or…or, whatever, but I can still keep part of you safe.  

-He hesitantly brings his hand up and presses it against Jesse’s heart-  I can do something.  But how am I supposed to balance that when wanna be the person that screams and breaks things and punches people in the face?  So I don’t.  I don’t ever.  Because if I slip, whose gonna keep you from slipping?

You don’t wanna lie to me?  I don’t wanna lie to you.  I didn’t wanna break up with Stiles. I didn’t.  I fucking loved him so much.  And we were good together.  But we couldn’t make it work and I had to walk away. What I feel for you, Jesse,  how I love you…how I’m in love with you…It’s so different, but it’s just as strong.  Stronger.  And I don’t want to have to walk away from you. -It’s the first time he’s even allowed himself to admit it’s a possibility-

I don’t want to walk away from you.

-Jesse brushes his thumb across Danny’s cheek.-

I don’t want that either. And I don’t want you to walk on eggshells around me. I’m an addict with a shit ton of baggage. But I’m not gonna snap and go overdose in an alley because you yell at me. Baby, I’ve felt this building since the basement. We both have. We’ve just been ignoring it because it’s easier.

-He nods, then turns and presses his lips to Jesse’s thumb-  I’m still mad.  I don’t know how to fix it.  But I want to.  -he curls his fingers into Jesse’s shirt, tugs him close, and wraps his arms around him-  We’ll figure it out.  As long as I’m not working alone, we can figure it out.

-he hears a shout in the distance-  And I think we’re being summoned to dinner.

spawnofperdition:

hackerdanny:

spawnofperdition:

hackerdanny:

-He shakes his head violently-  I don’t wanna talk to you.  -All of a sudden he whirls around, jabbing his finger in Jesse’s direction-  I was willing to do it, you know.  I was totally willing to stop being friends with Stiles for you.  So that you wouldn’t worry.  So you’d never have to be afraid of whatever the fuck your blood addled brain was torturing you with.  Even though it was founded on nothing.  Even though I’d told you a thousand times I chose YOU.  Stiles was the closest person to me besides Jackson and I was happy to give that up because you are always more important.

But you had to keep pushing.  No, Danny, really, I’m fine!  It’s not like that, Danny!  He’s your friend and he helped us with Meg!  Let’s take him to Hawaii with us!

-Jesse reaches out a hand like he wants to touch him, and Danny jerks away, takes a step back-

Do you have any idea what it felt like to hear you say that shit in the basement?  What it did to me?  And I forgave you!  I didn’t ask you to make it up to me or prove you didn’t mean it.  I believed you when you said that wasn’t the rational you!  I understood this whole relationship thing was new to you and you were still figuring it out!  I didn’t hold it against you!

But you lied.  You lied to me.

-He takes a deep breath and forces his voice low again-  I want to go home.  Will you please take me back to Beacon Hills? -It’s not a rational request, he knows that, but right now he wants to be far away from Jesse.  And Stiles.  And every fucked up person he has always had to be strong for.-

And tell what to your Tutu? And everybody else? Anywhere I take you, I’m just gonna have to eventually come get you. -He sighs.- Which something tells me is the last thing you want right now.

But…I will take you literally anywhere on this island and I promise I’ll leave you alone. If we talk now.

You realize that’s blackmail, right?  -he snorts-  Of course you do.  Fine, whatever.  -he makes a sweeping motion with his hand-  Go on.  Talk.

You’re right. I’m jealous. Stupidly, irrationally jealous. I know that. I know that you would never cheat on me. I know it wouldn’t matter if Stiles made a move on you or not, you would never do that to me. You love me. I know it. But I’m still terrified. I can’t explain it. I can’t reason it. Sometimes you just look at each other and it feels like the way we look at each other. And I don’t know what to do with that. So I get angry. But I don’t want to be and I definitely don’t want you to see it because you deserve better. So I keep it in. Because that’s what people do, right?

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But, Danny, I didn’t want to lie to you. I want to say it until it’s true. I’m going to keep saying it until it’s true. Because Stiles is important to you. And he is a good guy. And I refuse to let you cut him out of your life because I’m an asshole. That’s bullshit.

I am so fucking sorry for everything I said to you. -Sand slides off his feet as he moves closer, cupping Danny’s face in both hands.- I love you. And I know those words are nothing if I don’t treat you the way you deserve. Which is so much more than this. -His voice drops down to a whisper.- Tell me what you need.

-He squeezes his eyes shut and turns his face into into Jesse’s palm-  I don’t know.  I don’t know what I need.  I just know it hurts.  Every time I think about it, it hurts.  And I don’t know how to fix it.  Especially when I feel like I have to walk on eggshells to keep it from happening again.  

Everybody…you, Stiles, Jackson…all of you expect me to be this…this perfect thing that all of you can depend on.  And I like it.  I do.  I like being someone you can depend on, Jesse.  I like being the calm in all the shit that goes on here.  I can’t do any magic tricks like the rest of you, or grow fangs or get black eyes, or…or, whatever, but I can still keep part of you safe.  

-He hesitantly brings his hand up and presses it against Jesse’s heart-  I can do something.  But how am I supposed to balance that when wanna be the person that screams and breaks things and punches people in the face?  So I don’t.  I don’t ever.  Because if I slip, whose gonna keep you from slipping?

You don’t wanna lie to me?  I don’t wanna lie to you.  I didn’t wanna break up with Stiles. I didn’t.  I fucking loved him so much.  And we were good together.  But we couldn’t make it work and I had to walk away. What I feel for you, Jesse,  how I love you…how I’m in love with you…It’s so different, but it’s just as strong.  Stronger.  And I don’t want to have to walk away from you. -It’s the first time he’s even allowed himself to admit it’s a possibility-

I don’t want to walk away from you.